Acceptance can be a tricky thing. Have you ever noticed how much resistance you put up to simply acknowledging how things are?
I struggle to accept the state of global affairs, and in many ways, I see that resistance as a good thing. I also struggle to accept that my little dog, Lulu, isn’t here anymore, but I understand that acceptance is the final stage of grief. In these cases, resistance feels justified.
But self-acceptance? That’s a whole other challenge.
I clearly remember, decades ago, sitting in therapy for an eating disorder and hearing the therapist say, “You must learn to accept yourself the way you are.” Without missing a beat, I thought, “You’ve got to be joking. That’s never going to happen.” And with a belief like that, I was absolutely right.
Over the years, through different experiences and approaches, I’ve become more open to the idea of self-acceptance, but I know just how difficult it can be to even consider the concept.
ADHD acceptance and the pressure to be ‘fixed’
Many of my ADHD clients experience pressure - whether from loved ones, workplaces, or society - to be “fixed.” For those who realise they are likely to have ADHD / receive a diagnosis later in life, having a label can be helpful in making sense of lifelong struggles. But coming to terms with it is often complicated.
No two people experience ADHD in exactly the same way. Some struggle more with inattention, others with hyperactivity / impulsivity, and many with a combination of both. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder. It isn’t something that can be workshopped or therapied away. But strategies exist that can help manage symptoms with varying degrees of success.
A key part of coaching is building a greater understanding of what does and doesn’t work for you. Instead of constantly setting yourself up to fail, we focus on working with your strengths.
ADHD acceptance and working with your strengths
I have a client whose wife despairs because he always leaves things to the last minute. Over the years, this pattern has caused plenty of stress for both of them. The ironic part? He’s an excellent planner. The issue isn’t a lack of foresight; it’s that the part of the brain responsible for planning doesn’t communicate well with the part responsible for execution.
For some, ADHD medication helps bridge that gap, but meds don’t work for or suit everyone. What has helped my client is developing a deeper understanding of his relationship with time. Future tasks remain abstract and out of reach until they are suddenly in his face and urgent - at which point they become impossible to ignore. By recognising this, he and his wife now structure tasks in a way that works for him rather than against him. The result? Among other things, fewer missed appointments, less stress, and a lot more ease.
Through coaching, he has built self-awareness, self-esteem, and confidence. He’s no longer in a constant state of worry about failing in some way. Of course, he still makes mistakes, but that’s being human - not being ADHD.
ADHD acceptance as a strategy, not a surrender
Self-acceptance isn’t about giving up. It’s about designing your work and life in a way that plays to your strengths while minimising struggles - not constantly battling, worrying, or feeling guilty for being the way you are.
Instead of trying to force yourself into a mould that doesn’t fit, what if you worked with your brain instead of against it?
So, where in your life or business could you lean into ADHD acceptance rather than resistance?
And what’s one small shift you could make to play to your strengths instead of focusing on what’s not working?
If you’d like support in navigating ADHD acceptance and working with your strengths, let’s chat. Here's my calendar or send me an email.