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Thinking about solutions rather than ‘I'm not good enough’

Illustration of a woman sat very comfortably in an enormous tea cup
Thinking about solutions rather than ‘I'm not good enough’

Mel ran two businesses, tutoring and Mel’s Marvellous Cakes, and had begun to write a book when she joined The Flourish Hothouse programme. She was feeling overwhelmed with creative business ideas and the desire to make them happen, while earning a living and being a wife and mother.

Mel thought her challenge was about establishing a routine to be more productive in order to make time to write, and to make herself accountable for writing regularly.

“I came to coaching thinking I wanted one thing, but I needed to unravel all of it. I was spreading myself too thin across everything.”

Through the Flourish programme, Mel discovered that her actual challenge was to get clarity about what she REALLY wanted, to understand and accept that what SHE wanted was OK, as opposed what she thought her clients or others might want, and to build her confidence to really go for it.

The Flourish programme helped Mel explore the main causes of her feeling overwhelmed: people pleasing, perfectionism and procrastination...

For example, Mel’s tutoring business was causing her stress; she was putting in too much unpaid time to service her clients and not all of her clients were ideal. Following our coaching sessions, Mel cut back completely on additional unpaid work, realising she had the skills and experience to deliver an excellent service without them. And over time she dropped the clients she no longer wanted to work with. This gave her much more time to concentrate on Mel’s Marvellous Cakes and to give herself some time off each week.

“I looked in detail at how I was spending my time. Now, when I am asked to do something, I think am I going to be resentful doing this or am I doing it because I'm worried about offending somebody? And if that’s the case, I now say ‘No’.”

We also looked at what was driving Mel, focusing on her values and what she was really passionate about, and we got her thinking bigger and longer-term about what her future could look like.

“I’ve got a plan.
And if I don't want to do something, then I ask myself why am I doing it? I have now dropped my tutoring business entirely to focus on what I DO want to do.
My business plan is still work-in-progress, very much an evolving project, but I am testing what I really want from my business and shaping my offering accordingly.
I have a better understanding of what success looks like for me, over and above making a profit: I am getting repeat bookings from clients and selling out at public events and ensuring that my business is manageable for me.”

Now for Mel it’s about trying things out creatively, learning from them and letting the things that don’t work go...

“So, I'm constantly thinking does that work? And if it doesn't work, I’ve let go of criticising myself and instead I deconstruct it and think ‘Right, what did I learn? What will I do next time? How will I solve that problem?’
I'm thinking about solutions rather than ‘I'm not good enough’. And I’m bringing my value of creativity to everything. And I’m really trusting that creativity; it’s unique to me.”

As Mel has reduced her commitments and no longer says ‘Yes’ to as many things, she has a new challenge: adjusting to a calmer life...

“I've been used to being so busy and pulled in so many different directions, and when you're not being pulled you think there's something wrong! I’m learning what it's like to feel more relaxed.”

However, she doesn't get to put her feet up for too long because for Mel it's a journey that has no end...

“Where I am now with my business, I wouldn't have imagined that I'd have been able to do this a year ago. I'm doing some things right! And next year I'll have improved it again. And I would do the Flourish programme again too!”

To find out more about how Lorna Thomas / Be The Best You In Business coaching and mentoring could support you to increase your confidence and grow your business with clarity, focus and control, book a call...


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