Feeling like a neurodivergent imposter? It’s more common than you think
- Lorna Thomas
- May 14
- 3 min read
We’ve all heard of imposter syndrome - the persistent feeling that you’re not good enough, even when you have evidence to the contrary. But there’s a lesser-known variation that many of my clients grapple with: feeling like a neurodivergent imposter.
It sounds like this:
“I don’t really have ADHD - I’m probably just lazy.”
“I’m not really neurodivergent. I’m just not very good at things.”
“What if I’m just a bit slow or stupid?”
This isn’t about doubting your job performance or downplaying success. It’s a deeper questioning of your very identity - particularly when you're undiagnosed or have been masking for years. And it’s made worse by a culture that’s starting to treat neurodivergence like a fad.
The “ADHD trend” backlash
If you’re on social media, you’ve probably seen the backlash. It’s suddenly trendy to say you’re “a bit ADHD” because you forgot where your keys are or fidget occasionally. If you’re old enough, you’ll remember the 90s version of this which was being “a bit OCD” because you like a tidy desk.
But people genuinely living with ADHD or autism or OCD know: being distracted, forgetful, or meticulous doesn’t even scratch the surface.
Thankfully, research is starting to catch up. We now understand that neurodivergent brains develop differently. This isn’t an affectation. It’s not a quirky personality trait or a social media identity. Neurodivergence or neurodifference is real. And for many, it’s been misunderstood or missed for decades.
The weight of doubt
I work with clients who carry deep shame about their neurodivergence - especially those with ADHD and autism. Some haven’t told their friends or family, let alone work. Others are desperate for a formal diagnosis so that loved ones will finally believe them. Without that diagnosis, many feel like they have to keep proving they’re struggling - while also being told they’re overreacting or imagining it.
The pressure to mask and function "normally" - even at home - is exhausting. It’s physical. Emotional. Daily. And with NHS waiting lists now reportedly as long as ten years for a diagnosis (if your GP is even accepting referrals), many are left in limbo, doubting themselves while the world doubts them too.
The double bind of validation
Here’s something I hear a lot: “I wish I’d known sooner. It would have changed everything.”
Late-life diagnoses can be life-changing. They can bring immense relief and clarity. But they also come with grief - grief for the years spent thinking you were just “too much” or “not enough.”
Many neurodivergent people have a greater need for external validation. That’s not a flaw. It’s often a result of growing up being corrected, criticised or not quite getting things right. Without a formal diagnosis, that need for validation can go unmet, leaving people stuck in a cycle of self-doubt.
You’re not imagining it
My work has led me to believe that neurodivergence is far more common than current statistics suggest. Many people are walking around undiagnosed, internalising the idea that their challenges are just personal failings rather than legitimate neurological differences.
If you’ve ever felt like a neurodivergent imposter, I want you to know this:
You are not broken.
You are not faking it.
And you are absolutely not alone.
How to stop feeling like a neurodivergent imposter
There are many things you can do to feel more confident and validated. Taking small steps can make a big difference to how you think and feel.
Spotting the pattern
Simply noticing when you think like this and naming what’s happening, “This is neurodivergent imposter syndrome”, can be powerful. It can create distance between you and the doubt spiral.
Watch for comparison traps
Become aware of who you’re comparing yourself to whether neurotypical or neurodifferent. Everyone’s experience is different, and you are NEVER seeing the whole picture.
Curate your social media feed
Unfollow accounts that make neurodivergence look like a quirky affectation. Follow people who talk about the hard, real, wonderful, complicated parts - that’s where your self-awareness and confidence can grow, knowing you are not alone.
Say it out loud to someone safe
Thoughts feel much bigger in your head. Shame thrives in silence. Saying, “I keep thinking I’m just lazy, but I know that’s not the whole story,” to a neurodivergent-informed friend, coach or therapist can start to loosen its grip and give it perspective.
Maybe it’s time to book a free, no obligation Breakthrough Call and find out how I can help you move beyond those fraudulent feelings and into the confidence that will help you and your business bloom.